What Recovery Really Feels Like — The Good, Bad, and Ugly
My Recovery Journey started 2/6/2023 and has been absolutey amazing. Its not easy but its worth it. Staying sober has been the easy part. Learning how to survive life and the struggles that come with it has been the most difficult part. When you live your life a certain way for a long time, you tend to build “Habits.” These habits can be good or bad, but i am sure if your in active addiction these habits probably were’nt so good. Being new into recovery I didnt realize these “habits” were making staying sober difficult. These habits/copping mechinisms are wired into the brain. It took a lot of time and working with therapist to find and understand these bad habits. An example of one of these “bad habits” I created in addiction was the false power/feeling substances use to give me.
When I felt low I would call a friend and plan to have drinks. My problems were always follwed by having a drink. Couldnt deal with a problem without thinking about a drink, that was the bad habit. It all started with a thought. The thought of a drink often led to a drink. In recovery I couldnt have that. So I had to reprogram my brain to not auto pilot when a problem would arise. I had to substitute drinking with something else. Because lets face it, dealing with life problems sucks and sometimes is overwhelming. Its always easier taking the easy route, but in recovery easy way can get you killed.
Recovery isnt about just giving up drinking or drugs. Its the self awarness of what actions or thoughts that caused you to want to pickup that drink or use that drug of choice. Its reviving your life to want to do better than before. Its all in the journey where the real happiness is. Its not the destination of recovery that I needed. It’s the journey of recovery that has shown me who I truly am. I believe in the power of thoughts, because each thought is just a thought until given power when acted upon. My journey in recovery hasnt just changed me, but has ripped away the mask in which I was wearing for a long long time, showing me what I have never seen before….Myself.
